What to Do If the Lockbox Won’t Open
First, enter the code again slowly.
Then enter it six more times with increasing anger, as if the lockbox will eventually recognize your authority as a licensed real estate professional.
Pull it. Push it. Shake it. Tap it gently. Whisper encouraging words. Check the showing instructions. Call the listing agent. Discover that the code was changed yesterday, but nobody updated the appointment system.
If the listing agent says, “It worked fine for me,” understand that this information will not help you in any way.
Meanwhile, your buyers will stand behind you silently questioning whether you have ever opened a door before.
After 15 minutes, the lockbox will finally open for no apparent reason. You will act completely unsurprised and say, “There we go.”
Professionalism restored.
What to Do If Your Listing Expires
First, resist the urge to blame the market, interest rates, Zillow, the weather, the photographs, the other Realtors, Mercury in retrograde, or the family of deer that repeatedly appeared during showings.
Then have an honest conversation with the seller.
If the home received very few showings, the price was probably too high.
If it received many showings but no offers, the price was probably too high.
If everyone said the home was beautiful but nobody purchased it, the price was probably too high.
If the seller says, “We just need the right buyer,” explain that the right buyer may currently be purchasing the correctly priced house down the street.
A listing does not become more valuable simply because it has been on the market long enough to celebrate a birthday.
Review the pricing, presentation, condition, photography, marketing, showing experience, and buyer feedback. Make meaningful changes before relaunching it.
Changing the listing status without changing the strategy is not a fresh start. It is the same movie with a new poster.
What to Do If the Seller Says, “Let’s Start High and See What Happens”
You already know what happens.
The home sits on the market.
Buyers assume something is wrong with it.
The listing accumulates days on market.
The seller rejects the best early offer.
Three months later, the price is reduced to exactly where you originally recommended.
Six months later, the seller accepts less than the first offer while saying, “The market has really changed.”
Yes. The market changed while we were testing it.
What to Do If the Seller Says, “We Can Always Come Down”
That is technically true.
You can also put a steak in the oven for four hours and lower the temperature later. The problem is that the steak has already been in the oven for four hours.
A new listing receives its greatest attention when it first enters the market. Overpricing wastes that opportunity and turns excitement into suspicion.
Buyers do not usually say, “This house is dramatically overpriced—let’s hurry before someone else gets it.”
What to Do If the Seller Wants to Attend the Showing
Explain that buyers need privacy and space.
The seller should not follow them through the home describing where every piece of furniture was purchased.
They should not explain how much every improvement cost.
They should not stand behind the buyers waiting for compliments.
And under no circumstances should they hide in the garage and “pretend to organize things.”
Buyers can sense a seller nearby. It is similar to how animals sense an approaching storm.
What to Do If the Seller Refuses to Declutter
Use diplomacy.
Explain that buyers need to see the home—not 30 years of trophies, family portraits, furniture, exercise equipment, unopened mail, commemorative plates, artificial plants, and decorative roosters.
The objective is not to remove the seller’s personality.
The objective is to locate the countertops.
If every horizontal surface contains a collection, buyers will spend the showing examining the collections instead of imagining themselves living there.
Congratulations. You have successfully marketed the seller’s porcelain village.
What to Do If the Buyer Says, “We’re Just Looking”
Cancel your weekend plans.
They will tour 42 homes, reconsider their price range, change school districts twice, decide they need five acres, encounter one snake, abandon the acreage idea, and eventually purchase the second home you showed them.
At closing, they will say, “We knew immediately.”
You will smile because prison orange is not your color.
What to Do If the Buyer Wants to See the House “Real Quick”
There is no such thing as a real-quick showing.
They will inspect every closet, test the water pressure, measure the refrigerator opening, discuss furniture placement, call a parent on FaceTime, and stand in the driveway for 35 minutes deciding whether the road is too busy.
You will spend longer discussing the house in the driveway than you spent inside it.
What to Do If the Buyer Arrives 30 Minutes Early
They will enter the driveway while the seller is still vacuuming in pajamas, the dog is running through the yard, and you are five minutes away.
The buyers will then call and say, “We’re here.”
Yes. We know.
The security cameras, barking dog, panicked seller, and neighborhood Facebook group have already announced your arrival.
What to Do If the Buyers Bring Their Entire Family
Welcome all 14 of them.
Grandparents will inspect the foundation. An uncle who once replaced a garbage disposal will evaluate the electrical system. A cousin will measure every room. Three children will test the acoustics by screaming from opposite ends of the house.
Someone will sit on the seller’s bed.
No one will know who.
The buyer will eventually ask, “What does everyone think?” and 13 unpaid consultants will begin negotiating against the house.
What to Do If the Inspection Report Is 127 Pages
Do not panic.
Inspection reports include photographs, explanations, maintenance recommendations, safety suggestions, and every loose screw the inspector encountered during a four-hour journey.
A long report does not necessarily mean the home is collapsing.
However, if the report includes the phrase “inspection terminated due to active wildlife,” additional investigation may be appropriate.
What to Do If the Buyer Wants Every Inspection Item Repaired
Explain that the inspection is designed to identify the condition of the property—not transform a 25-year-old home into new construction.
A loose doorknob is not a structural emergency.
A burned-out lightbulb is not a latent defect.
And the seller should not be expected to replace an entire driveway because one inspector found a crack large enough to photograph dramatically.
What to Do If the Appraisal Comes in Low
Remain calm.
Then immediately begin searching the report for the comparable property that was half the size, 14 miles away, beside a transmission shop, and last renovated during the Reagan administration.
Prepare your best data, explain the unique features of the property, and submit a professional reconsideration.
Do not write, “This appraisal is insane,” even when that is the most accurate opening sentence.
The first draft is for emotional recovery. The second draft is for the lender.
What to Do If There Are No Comparable Sales
Welcome to luxury real estate.
Unique properties rarely come with perfect comparable sales. You may need to evaluate acreage, construction quality, location, architecture, amenities, condition, water features, outbuildings, replacement cost, and sales outside the immediate neighborhood.
After hours of detailed analysis, someone will send you a “perfect comparable” from another state because it also has a swimming pool.
What to Do If the Seller Says, “We Have More Than That Invested”
Acknowledge the investment respectfully.
Then explain that buyers are purchasing the property—not reimbursing the seller for every decision ever made.
The market may appreciate the pool, landscaping, automation, theater, and outdoor kitchen.
It may be less enthusiastic about the $40,000 custom aquarium installed in the primary bathroom.
Cost and value are related, but they are not identical twins.
What to Do If the Buyer Wants a Deal
Ask them to define “deal.”
Some buyers mean below-market pricing. Others want a rare property that cannot easily be recreated.
In luxury real estate, the best deal is not always the lowest price. It may be securing the right home, land, view, and location before another buyer recognizes how irreplaceable it is.
Of course, the buyer would still prefer to steal it and have the seller leave the golf cart.
What to Do If the Seller Says, “Just Photoshop It”
Photoshop can brighten a sky, improve lighting, and remove a trash can.
It cannot ethically install a swimming pool, add 20 acres, eliminate the neighboring house, or turn a drainage ditch into Lake Como.
If the edited photograph begins to resemble a private resort in Tuscany, we may no longer be marketing the same property.
What to Do If the Luxury Home Has a $250,000 Automation System
Find the one person on Earth who knows how it works.
The system controls the lights, televisions, music, shades, security, fireplaces, temperature, gates, fountains, pool, and possibly air traffic over the property.
It is incredibly impressive until the Wi-Fi fails and nobody can turn off the chandelier.
There is always one critically important remote control.
It is never at the house.
What to Do If the Home Has a Secret Room
Open it slowly.
In luxury real estate, hidden rooms may contain wine cellars, speakeasies, safes, theaters, gun rooms, or panic rooms.
Sometimes they contain one folding chair positioned beneath a single lightbulb.
Close the door.
Not every mystery requires an answer.
What to Do If the Seller Wants Photos Taken Tomorrow
Explain that luxury marketing requires preparation.
The house needs to be cleaned, staged, landscaped, decluttered, and photographed under the right conditions. The shoot may involve photographers, videographers, drones, twilight images, detailed lighting, and several hours on-site.
It is not “just a few pictures.”
Your phone can take a picture.
Properly presenting a multimillion-dollar estate is a production.
What to Do If It Rains on Photography Day
Check the forecast repeatedly, as if your anxiety may eventually change the weather.
Reschedule the drone. Reschedule the photographer. Reschedule the videographer. Reschedule the stager.
Then explain that dark clouds and horizontal rain do not properly communicate “effortless resort-style living.”
Luxury real estate revolves around timing, preparation, lighting, and occasionally standing outside asking God for ten good minutes of sky.
What to Do If the Deal Falls Apart at 10:00 p.m.
Remember that real estate is not a 9-to-5 profession.
Sometimes it is a 7:00 a.m.-to-10:00 p.m. profession with a short lunch eaten over the kitchen sink.
Stay calm. Gather the facts. Communicate clearly. Document everything. Focus on solutions.
Then write the response you really want to send.
Do not send it.
Delete half of it, remove the sarcasm, replace “obviously” with “for clarification,” and send the version that keeps everyone out of court.
What to Do If Everyone Agrees Too Quickly
Check the paperwork immediately.
Real estate transactions rarely move that smoothly.
If the buyer, seller, lender, title company, appraiser, inspector, insurance company, and both Realtors agree on everything, someone has probably misunderstood the closing date.
What to Do If You Think Being a Realtor Looks Easy
Spend one week with one.
The job includes pricing, marketing, staging, contracts, negotiations, inspections, appraisals, photography, advertising, legal considerations, technology, social media, emotional support, crisis management, and opening a lockbox that worked perfectly for the previous agent.
We open doors.
Occasionally, we are also expected to repair the door, explain the door, negotiate the door, photograph the door, and apologize because the seller does not want to include the door.
The Real Answer to Every “What If?”
Stay calm. Tell the truth. Communicate clearly. Solve the problem.
Real estate is unpredictable because homes are personal, money is emotional, and everyone involved is making an enormous decision under pressure.
The best Realtors are not the ones who never encounter problems. They are the ones who remain steady when the problems arrive.
And if nothing else works, check the lockbox code, improve the marketing, reduce the price, and make sure the seller is not hiding in the garage.
Wyatt Poindexter
Oklahoma Luxury Real Estate
The Agency Oklahoma
405-417-5466
www.OKLuxuryHomes.com
