Why I Don’t Answer Every Call Anymore (And Why That’s On Purpose)
I’ve always believed that when you’re sitting across from someone — or even sitting next to them in a car — they deserve your full attention. No phone on the table. No half-listening. No mid-conversation pause to say, “Sorry, let me grab this.” It has always bothered me when people take a call right in front of me while we’re talking. Not because the call isn’t important, but because the person physically present should be. In my opinion, it’s rude — not intentionally rude, most of the time — but because people don’t even realize they’re doing it.
Because of that, I turn my phone completely off or at least silence it when I’m with my wife or with clients. I never let a seller see my phone during a listing appointment. Not on the counter. Not buzzing in my pocket. Not lighting up during a walkthrough. And even if we’re sitting next to each other in a car, riding to an appointment or heading to lunch, I try to give that moment the same respect. If I’m with you, I’m with you.
That discipline came from a moment I’ll never forget.
Years ago, I was touring a seller’s home during a listing appointment when my phone rang. I glanced down at it — just for a second. The seller stopped, looked at me, and said, “Is that really more important than being with me right now?”
Wow. Point taken. Lesson learned. It never happened again.
I know some Realtors think answering the phone the instant it rings is professional. I don’t. To me, it can actually look like you were sitting around waiting for the phone to save the moment — like nothing else was happening until it rang. That’s just my opinion, but I believe professionalism shows up in preparation, presence, and respect, not reaction time.
I’ll always answer if it’s my wife. And sometimes if it’s my kids — although, to be honest, most of the time they’re just calling because they need money, and that conversation can usually wait five minutes.
I also try very hard not to let my kids see me glued to my phone. I want to set an example, even though I haven’t always done it perfectly. I once missed my son Cameron score a touchdown because I was looking at my phone. I missed my daughter Katie score a goal in soccer for the same reason. Those moments don’t come back. There’s no replay button on real life.
Some people do get frustrated when I don’t answer immediately or don’t call back right away. I understand that. But the reason is simple: if I’m not answering, it’s because I’m giving someone else the attention they deserve. It might be a client sitting across from me, a seller trusting me inside their home, someone riding next to me in a car, or my family in a moment that actually matters. Interrupting one conversation to answer another doesn’t create better service — it creates divided attention.
I lived the other side of this for years. I answered everything. Christmas morning. Thanksgiving dinner. Birthdays. Vacations. Flights. Late nights. Early mornings. And yes, 3:00 a.m., because someone “just had a quick question.”
What I once viewed as dedication was actually a lack of boundaries and balance — not leadership.
Here’s another moment that stuck with me. About three years ago, I was sitting on the couch watching TV with my laptop on my lap, texting someone at 8:00 p.m. My wife was across from me on her phone. Both of my kids were on their phones. Four people in the same room, not talking to each other, all staring at glowing rectangles. It hit me all at once: what are we doing? This isn’t productivity. This is just noise.
I didn’t say anything. I didn’t lecture anyone. I just got up and went upstairs to think of something more constructive. That’s when I noticed a paint set my mom had bought me almost ten years earlier — still sitting there, unopened. I pulled it out and started painting. I’ve always loved art. I was always drawing growing up — although, if I’m being honest, most of that involved drawing Van Halen logos on every school folder I owned.
Over the past three years, that simple decision turned into something meaningful. I’ve completed 38 paintings — not because I’m chasing perfection, but because I chose to step away from constant distraction, stop scrolling, start creating, and make room for something that actually restores me. Thirty-eight paintings later, I’m reminded that when you step away from the noise, there’s space again for creativity, clarity, and purpose.
I’ve watched great agents leave this industry. Not because they couldn’t sell, but because they never stopped. They never powered down. Never stepped away. Never gave themselves permission to be unavailable. And what actually falls apart isn’t your business — it’s your health, your relationships, your presence, and your ability to enjoy the life you’re working so hard to build.
Boundaries aren’t unprofessional. They aren’t lazy. And they don’t mean you care less.
Boundaries are clarity.
Boundaries are leadership.
Boundaries are respect.
One other boundary I’ve committed to — and I’m being very intentional about this — is how I start my mornings.
The first thing I do each day — within five minutes of waking up — is get into the cold plunge. Nothing wakes you up faster than walking outside in 30-degree winter weather and submerging yourself into 39-degree water for six minutes. It’s uncomfortable by design, but it clears the mind instantly and sets the tone for the entire day.
From there, my mornings are sacred. That time is reserved for prayer, quiet reflection, grounding, strength training, Peloton, stretching, red light therapy, and taking my supplements. It starts early — around 4:15 a.m. — and honestly, it’s the most peaceful part of my entire day. No calls. No texts. No notifications. No one needing my attention. Just stillness, discipline, and clarity.
After that, I focus on real estate marketing and strategy from about 8:00 a.m. to noon. That block is focused, intentional work — building, creating, thinking, and positioning my business the right way. I try to make calls after noon, and in 2026 I’m going to be even more disciplined about it. That means not checking emails, texts, or calls until after 12:00. Not because I don’t care — but because I care enough to protect my health, my focus, and my longevity in this business.
There’s also a simple reward at the end of that routine: coffee and a protein shake. Earned. I usually finish the morning with a two-mile walk through our neighborhood with my wife and my German Shepherd, Harley. It’s unhurried, quiet, and grounding — the best possible way to step into the day centered and present.
That early-morning window is the absolute best part of my day. It’s when I feel grounded, clear-headed, and fully present. I need it to be the best version of myself — as a husband, a father, a Realtor, and a leader. I need it for my sanity. I need it to avoid burnout. This isn’t about ignoring people — it’s about protecting my craft. Real estate deserves my best energy, not whatever is left after constant interruption.
Today, if I’m with my family, I’m with my family. If I’m sitting across the table from you — or next to you in a car — you have my full attention. Calls can wait. Emails can wait. Most “emergencies” turn out not to be emergencies at all.
And if that makes me less appealing to some people, that’s okay. Those probably aren’t my people anyway.
So here’s the reminder I wish I’d learned earlier: you don’t need permission from your clients, your colleagues, or your industry. You need permission from yourself.
Turn the phone off — not just on silent.
Eat the food.
Open the presents.
Watch the game.
Take the nap.
Be bored for five minutes without checking your inbox.
The deals will still be there tomorrow.
The moments won’t.
At the end of the day, phones are tools — not priorities. They’re meant to support our lives, not replace the moments that make life meaningful. Every deal can wait. Every email can wait. The moments right in front of us cannot. Presence is the real luxury, and it’s the one thing no notification can ever replace.
Wyatt Poindexter
Managing Partner, The Agency Oklahoma
405-417-5466
[email protected]
www.WyattPoindexter.com
www.TheAgencyRE.com
