Let’s be real—California has its perks. Sunshine, beaches, and celebrities who pretend to relate to us common folk. But before you sell your soul for a tiny bungalow in Los Angeles or a condo the size of a closet in San Francisco, let’s talk about why Oklahoma is actually the better choice.
1. The Cost of Living: Your Wallet Will Thank You
California’s real estate prices are the stuff of nightmares. In Oklahoma, you can actually own a home without having to sell a kidney on the black market. A million dollars in California might get you a charming fixer-upper with a shared driveway and a neighbor who practices drumming at midnight. In Oklahoma? You’re looking at a sprawling luxury estate with land, a pool, and maybe even a pond where you can fish while sipping sweet tea.
And let’s talk about gas prices—Californians basically take out a small loan every time they fill up their car. Meanwhile, in Oklahoma, we fill up our trucks for half the price and still have enough left over for a steak dinner.
2. No State Income Tax? Yes, Please!
If you enjoy handing over a chunk of your paycheck to the government, California is the place for you. But in Oklahoma, we like to keep more of our hard-earned money. No state income tax means more money for, well, anything other than funding Hollywood’s latest flop.
3. Traffic? We Don’t Know Her.
Californians spend days—literally days—of their lives stuck on the 405. It’s not called a freeway; it’s a parking lot with ambition. Meanwhile, in Oklahoma, rush hour means maybe an extra 10 minutes on your commute. And if you do hit a traffic jam, it’s probably caused by a tractor, which honestly just adds to the charm.
4. The People: Friendly, Down-to-Earth, and Genuinely Kind
In California, you’ll meet plenty of people, but they’re usually too busy chasing clout, managing their personal brand, or avoiding eye contact. In Oklahoma, we actually wave at strangers, help our neighbors, and hold doors open instead of pretending we don’t see someone coming.
Oklahomans are the type of people who will pull over to help you if your car breaks down, offer you sweet tea on a hot day, and genuinely ask how you’re doing (and mean it).
5. Tornadoes vs. Earthquakes & Wildfires
Look, we’re not saying tornadoes are fun, but at least we get some warning before they show up. Earthquakes? Those just happen whenever they feel like it, with zero notice. And California wildfires? Let’s just say we’d rather deal with strong winds than risk having to evacuate half the state every summer.
6. BBQ Over Kale Smoothies
If you’re tired of avocado toast, quinoa bowls, and $12 oat milk lattes, Oklahoma has the solution: real food. We’re talking ribs that fall off the bone, brisket that melts in your mouth, and fried okra that could bring a tear to your eye.
Sure, California has Michelin-starred restaurants, but in Oklahoma, we have flavor.
7. Space to Breathe—Literally
California is crowded. Like, “I can hear my neighbor sneeze through the wall” crowded. Oklahoma gives you space. Whether you want a big backyard, land for your horses, or just the ability to stretch your arms without hitting someone, Oklahoma delivers.
8. Sports & College Football Rivalries That Actually Matter
California might have pro teams, but Oklahoma lives and breathes college football. The passion, the tailgates, the rivalries—it’s not just a game; it’s a lifestyle. Saturdays in the fall? They belong to football, BBQ, and screaming at the TV with friends and family.
9. We Know How to Handle Weather
Californians panic when it rains. Meanwhile, in Oklahoma, we drive through thunderstorms, power through ice storms, and only mildly freak out when a tornado siren goes off. We’re built different.
10. The American Dream is Still Alive in Oklahoma
In California, dreams often come with crushing debt. In Oklahoma, you can start a business, buy a home, and build a future without drowning in expenses. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, a family looking for a fresh start, or just someone tired of paying $4,000 for a studio apartment, Oklahoma offers a real chance to thrive.
Final Thoughts: Oklahoma Wins
Look, California has its perks, but at the end of the day, Oklahoma offers affordability, space, amazing people, and a way better quality of life. So, if you’re tired of sky-high prices, unbearable traffic, and living on top of your neighbors, maybe it’s time to trade in the California dream for the Oklahoma reality.
And trust us—you won’t miss the kale smoothies.
