Real Estate Red Flags: The Weirdest Buyer Excuses I’ve Ever Heard
By Wyatt Poindexter – The Agency Oklahoma
Let’s be honest—working in real estate is like starring in your own reality show. Except there’s no glam squad, no script, and definitely no overtime pay. But what there is—plenty of—are buyers with excuses that would make your therapist say, “I’m gonna need a minute.”
After nearly 30 years in the business, I’ve heard it all. And while some buyers ghost politely, others leave a trail of baffling, bizarre, and downright hilarious reasons why they just can’t pull the trigger. Here are a few of my personal favorites (all real, all unforgettable).
1. “We loved it… but the house had a weird energy.”
Ah yes, the infamous vibes clause. No foundation issues. No leaks. Just “weird energy.” Did I miss the part of the inspection report where they checked for ghosts?
Translation: They watched one too many episodes of “The Haunting of Hill House” the night before the showing.
2. “Our dog didn’t like the backyard.”
This one came from a buyer who brought their poodle to the showing. The dog sniffed the yard, barked once, and that was apparently all the data they needed to rule out a six-bedroom custom home on 10 acres.
My follow-up question: Did the dog have final approval on the loan, too?
3. “We need to wait and see if Beyoncé announces a tour.”
Yes, this is real. Apparently, they were budgeting for floor seats, VIP access, and merch. And if Queen Bey hit the road again, that down payment was going straight to Ticketmaster.
Spoiler alert: She did. And they’re still renting.
4. “The bathtub gave me bad memories of my ex.”
First of all, what did that poor tub do? Second of all, I’m not licensed to handle emotional trauma linked to Kohler fixtures.
Note to self: Add “bathtub trauma counseling” to my list of value-add services.
5. “We loved everything… except the mailbox. That was a dealbreaker.”
They wanted it to be black. It was bronze. I offered to buy them a new mailbox. They said no, because it was “about the principle.”
The principle of… postal aesthetics?
6. “We can’t move forward… our cat went missing and it’s a sign.”
They were under contract. Then the cat escaped. They backed out and said, “The universe is telling us this isn’t the one.”
I’m not making this up. The cat came back two days later. The contract didn’t.
7. “My mother-in-law said it smells like a divorce house.”
What does that even mean?
Apparently, “divorce house” is now a scent profile. I Googled it. Still confused. But hey—mom didn’t approve, so the search continued.
8. “We’re just waiting to see if the lottery comes through first.”
This was their entire plan. No pre-approval. No job change. No savings. Just good vibes and scratch-offs.
They didn’t win.
But I did… by not wasting more time.
9. “We can't live in a house with the number 13 in the address.”
It was 113 Elm Street. Not 13. Not haunted. But apparently, the presence of “13” anywhere in the ZIP code was enough to cancel the dream.
New listing requirement: No numbers. Just vibes.
10. “The neighbor has a trampoline, and that’s a dealbreaker.”
I braced myself—noise? Eyesore? Liability?
Nope. They were just “uncomfortable with the bounce culture.”
I don’t know what that means. But I’ve been laughing about it for 6 years.
11. “We’re OSU fans. We saw the OU flag in the yard and didn’t even want to go inside.”
This happened. The house had everything they asked for—layout, location, price. But the sellers were Sooner fans and proudly flying that crimson flag. My buyers, die-hard Cowboys, took one look and said, “Nope. Not doing it.”
Rivalry runs deep, folks. And apparently, so does pettiness.
Final Thoughts: Read the Signs. Trust Your Gut. Bring Snacks.
Working in real estate means learning to read between the lines—and sometimes, reading between the excuses. While not every buyer is a red flag, the weird ones sure leave a memorable mark (and a hilarious group text moment).
So if you're new to the game, here’s my advice:
Expect delays. Expect drama. And always, always expect at least one buyer who will back out because the mailbox felt “too judgmental.”
Wyatt Poindexter
Managing Partner – The Agency Oklahoma
Part Realtor. Part therapist. Full-time vibe translator.
#RealEstateLife #BuyerExcuses #RealtorHumor #TheAgencyOklahoma #MakeABoldMove #RedFlagBuyers #TrueStoriesOnly
