Last week at the annual The Agency Forum in Fort Lauderdale, one message stood out with uncommon clarity and conviction: The Hidden Cost of Entitlement, delivered by Robert Madu.
I was already familiar with Pastor Madu. I have heard him preach on occasion at Life.Church in Edmond, Oklahoma. But hearing this message in this setting, surrounded by high-performing professionals and leaders from all over the world, hit differently. It was powerful, deeply practical, and incredibly timely.
Entitlement rarely announces itself loudly. It doesn’t walk into the room demanding attention. Instead, it quietly settles into our thinking, subtly reshaping expectations, attitudes, and responses. That quiet presence comes at a steep cost. Entitlement undermines growth, weakens leadership, damages relationships, and ultimately robs people of joy.
At the core of his teaching was a simple but profound truth: entitlement is rooted in ingratitude. When we believe we deserve outcomes, opportunities, recognition, or results, we stop seeing them as gifts. And once gratitude disappears, disappointment is never far behind.
Pastor Madu contrasted entitlement with a life anchored in thankfulness. Entitlement says, “I deserve this.” Gratitude says, “Thank you for this gift.” One posture breeds frustration. The other builds resilience. A thankful mindset creates a reality where you cannot lose, because even in difficulty you can still find reasons to praise God and grow. Challenges are no longer punishments, they become preparation.
One of the most striking illustrations he shared was what he described as the “toxic charity” progression. Give someone something once and it is appreciated. Give it twice and it becomes anticipated. A third time and it is expected. By the fourth time, entitlement has taken root. What once inspired gratitude now produces dissatisfaction. This pattern shows up everywhere: in leadership, business, relationships, and even faith.
Another powerful takeaway was this truth: thankful people win. Gratitude fuels creativity, resourcefulness, and perspective. While entitled people focus on what they did not get, thankful people look for what God might be redirecting, protecting, or preparing them for. Setbacks are no longer failures, they are recalibrations.
Entitlement, Pastor Madu explained, is also a major source of offense. When we believe we are owed something, we are quicker to take things personally, to feel overlooked, or to harbor resentment. Gratitude, on the other hand, dissolves offense. It shifts the focus from self to stewardship, from expectation to appreciation.
He offered practical ways to combat entitlement in everyday life. Acknowledge God’s gifts, even the basic ones we often overlook. Cultivate thanksgiving as a discipline, not a reaction. Say thank you often, and mean it. Shift perspective in hard seasons by asking what God is teaching rather than what you are owed. And live with humility, remembering that grace is never earned, it is given.
One line from the message continues to echo: “Nobody owes me anything. Jesus gave me everything.” That statement alone reframes how we approach work, leadership, opportunity, and success.
This message hits especially close to home in real estate. This industry can quietly breed entitlement. Entitlement to listings. Entitlement to clients. Entitlement to recognition. Entitlement to outcomes. When deals fall apart, markets shift, or effort does not immediately produce results, it is easy to lose joy along with the loss.
But gratitude changes everything. Some people lose one deal and lose their peace with it. Others lose a deal and still find clarity, confidence, and momentum. The difference is perspective. Thankful Realtors understand that no client, transaction, or commission defines them. They show up better for their clients, their teams, and their families because they are grounded in purpose, not entitlement.
When you are thankful, you cannot lose. Gratitude keeps you steady when the market is unpredictable. It keeps you humble when success comes quickly. And it keeps you moving forward when others get stuck looking backward.
That message alone made The Agency Forum worth the trip.
Wyatt Poindexter
Managing Partner, The Agency
405-417-5466
[email protected]
www.WyattPoindexter.com
www.TheAgencyRE.com
